Well here I am, sitting at the kitchen table at the ‘rents house, eating eggs and listening to Ella singing christmas songs. I’m drinking coffee out of one of those old diner-like white coffee cups and this I find very pleasing. Somehow the whole drinking experience can change based on the cup you’re drinking out of.
I’m at home this week recovering from the knee surgery I had on Monday. About two months ago I had another little basketball accident, and my left knee cartilage was what was left to suffer. I believe the area is called the meniscus, but the condition is also called runner’s knee, if I am correct? I guess runner’s knee is in reference to the wear and tear of the cartilage, while I had more of an acute injury. Anywho, I’ve been fixed, but am still on crutches and feeling pretty handicapped at the moment. However, I am seeing progress every day, so I am hopeful that I will be back on my feet in no time.
Today is December 3rd. This is the first day I have put on Christmas music. I find I tend to start with the “easy” Christmas music first, and then as Christmas draws closer I delve into the heavier, “holier” stuff. Today I started with Ella and am now listening to Christmas Swing with Bing and the Andrew’s Sisters. That title tickles me excessively. I have been reading Jane Austen lately and I think that’s why I’m using words like “excessively”. Perhaps I could have written, “Indeed, I find the album title excessively diverting.”
I think most of you know that I am studying music this year. So far it’s been wonderful! Of course also at times demanding, strenous and tiring, but I think it’s supposed to be. What’s interesting is that in these one-year colleges we have all over Norway, there are no exams. Your attendance is the only thing that is required. Yet, I find that I am not working any less because of it. On the contrary, the relief of not having to worry about convincing someone else that I am learning what I should, is a welcome change. This is probably the last time I’ll ever get to have that, so when I am complaining about everything else, I am going to remind myself that I should appreciate what I have this year, because I already think I will be looking back on this year with many good memories.
Speaking of complaining. Sometimes I complain about everything, sometimes I am content with everything. Usually however, I am somewhere in between those two. I’m not the kind of person that thinks all complaining is bad. It’s a natural reaction to natural feelings, of not being content or satisfied with a certain situation or condition. I don’t think it’s stupid to send back your food at the restaurant, because someone in southeast Asia doesn’t even have a meal to eat. Our complaining cannot be made just or unjust by always comparing them to other people’s problems and tribulations. Yet, sitting here at the kitchen table at home, with my newly opearted knee resting on a pillow, a warm home, a full stomach and beautiful music, I start to wonder about what I have and about what I don’t have, what we have and what we don’t have. I guess it’s the time of year to be reevaluating ourselves and our lives.
In material things, we have sooo much. We all know we don’t need it, yada yada yada. But whatcha gonna do? Have a universal garage sale so we all can feel a little better about ourselves? My friends and I are all in our early 20s now and we frequently have conversations about where we are going to take our lives, and about how difficult it can be to be a grown up, and how to make the right choices when you have a million to pick from. I think we all made our worlds a bit smaller a while ago, by accepting that most of us weren’t going to go and study in Beijing, St. Petersburg or Costa Rica. But we know that if we had wanted that, we just might have been able to do it. And we still know that, even though we have figured out that staying a little closer to home, maybe isn’t the worst way to go. It’s still at the back of our heads though, all the opportunities that we have, but are not seizing. So what’s it like to have been born in the late 1980s in Norway? Some of us feel like we got the world on a platter, and then we turned 20 and realized that our stomachs weren’t big enough to swallow the world. We were just trying to digest what our own small worlds were all about, and that was enough of a challenge. Sometimes it feels like our parents were expecting us to seize the world, just because we could, and because they couldn’t in the same way when they were young. Don’t get me wrong though! I don’t know if I would have wanted it to be otherwise either. The point for me isn’t to answer that question right now. I’m more interested in trying to understand what my generation has grappled with, what we are still grappling with, and how it has formed us as a generation, and as individuals.
I realize I rarely sit down and write like this anymore. It happens, but not as often as I did it before. Often just to write for myself, sometimes to share it with others. It’s not necessarily an unwelcome change though. I am enjoying what I am spending my time on these days. Sometimes however, I guess I could have a little bit more peace and quiet than I have right now. I’m sure if I had it though, I would wishing for a bit more noise and chaos. So there ya go.
There is so much I could say about all of this, but it could fill so many pages, that I think I won’t. You can be sure I’ll be thinking about it though. And I hope you will too, when you have moment to yourself. I think we have more to be thankful for than we remember to think about every day. I also think that by being so materially satisfied as we are, the things we are missing, are less visible.
My idea of Christmas is about simple pleausres. Good food, nice people, light in darkness and warmth. Maybe for a couple of days, my life can be a little less complicated. Maybe I won’t succeed, but I will try, so we’ll see. Advent is certainly the best time. It’s a big thing in Scandinavia. The waiting.
So I will wait for Christmas, and hopefully it will be a good one, and maybe a white one. What with the weather being so unpredictable now, we never know what we’re going to get. If nothing else, it keeps us on our toes
Until next time
